Concert Etiquette 101: How Not to Be a Menace at the Rock Show

It’s no secret that some folks have forgotten how to act at shows since 2020. Everywhere you look, concertgoers are stinking up the crowd in poop-filled diapers, throwing phones at musicians, and kicking people in the head while crowdsurfing. Still, I have to admit, I was shocked to learn that some jagoff at a recent L.S. Dunes show in Lansing apparently heckled the band so badly that frontman Anthony Green ended the show early. 

Green kept things pretty cryptic on Threads when he posted about this on Monday: “Please don’t come to my shows and yell song names at me or weird stuff about our body or anything,” he wrote. “Please. To the dudes who came last night and needed attention you might want to try an open mic at a comedy club or something but what you did to me and my friends trying to play music for you was disrespectful . Sorry to everyone who deserved a longer show, by now I should be better at handling this stuff but I’m still working on it.”

I can’t confirm for sure what the heckling was about, but you can read some Reddit threads if you’re interested. Multiple commenters have said Green told the heckler to stop, and he can be seen doing so in one (admittedly context-light) video from the show. No matter what was said, the result is the same — a ruined set.

Rude people are nothing new at concerts; hell, maybe things have always been this bad, and we’ve just got more tools to document it. A narrative has emerged in recent years that some folks never learned how to act in public because of COVID-19, but personally, I’m not convinced. Young people are not the only ones I’ve witnessed acting like dillholes at shows, and I’m also skeptical of the idea that, say, “don’t throw phones at the stage” is something that needs to be taught. 

Still, I’m nothing if not a problem solver. So if you’re a young, impressionable concertgoer looking to learn how to attend a concert without being an asshole, here are six simple rules to help you make the most of the experience without pissing anyone off.

It’s true that throwing things at musicians is a time-honored tradition that has included everything from roses to brassieres. Still, it’s never been a good idea. Even seemingly innocuous objects can do damage if they land in the wrong place at the wrong time. Also, this should go without saying, but don’t heckle the people who’ve gathered to put on a show for you. Be nice!

I’ve seen way too many people spread-eagling over the pit lately, and I fear we are losing the ancient texts. So for those who haven’t heard this: 

DO

DON’T

Careless crowd surfers are only half the problem; the other half are the people who insist on standing in the front of the pit but refuse to do the crucial work of keeping an eye out for crowd surfers. 

I get it: You waited all day for this view, and you don’t want to miss even a second by turning around to check for surfers. The thing is, that’s a great way to get you and everyone else around you kicked in the head. No matter where you are in the pit, you’ve got to periodically peek over your shoulder to see if someone’s coming. If you see someone, warn the people around you so you can all prepare. This is especially important if you’re in the front, where most crowd surfers tend to end up.

Crowd care is important. If you see someone fall down, be the one to reach down and pick them back up. If someone is looking faint, help find them some water and ask if they need help. If someone is harassing others around them, try to defuse the situation or get security involved. Most of us expect a degree of wildness in the pit, but if someone seems like they’re reaching their limit, don’t keep pushing them. Find someone else who’s ready to match your energy. I promise they’re in there somewhere.

One would hope this goes without saying, but alas, I’ve seen that isn’t so. I’m definitely not saying kids don’t belong anywhere at shows. Still, as someone who’s seen many a child crying from overstimulation in the Disney World bathroom, I can attest that even spaces designed for children can become overwhelming for younger kids after a few hours. 

If you bring your kid to a festival or show, make a plan to ensure their safety and come prepared to leave if it’s too much. Bring proper ear protection, check in with them often, and make sure they have adequate access to food and water. Also, for the love of god, don’t bring them into the mosh pit if they’re young. They’ll probably have a much better time on the lawn, where they aren’t at risk of getting trampled. 

We’ve all gotten hit by a stray elbow now and then, but I’m guessing a lot of us have also seen inappropriate behavior in a pit at some point. Spiritbox vocalist Courtney LaPlante recently had to throw an attendee out of one of her concerts for the “fuckery” they were doing in the crowd. If you’re doing anything in a mosh pit besides bumping into people who want to be bumped into, you’re doing too much. It’s not a place to start fights, grope people, or otherwise do shit you wouldn’t get away with anywhere else. Really, if your hands are getting involved in any way, you’re probably out of line.

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